Cats, snacks, treats and biscuits, sounds like a party.

Option 1 (Sarcastic & Punchy)

"I’m a Brooklyn-based college student raising tiny humans by day and being micromanaged by Callie (a playful, judgemental cat) by night. My life is 10% lectures, 40% toddler negotiations, 49% petting Callie, and 1% wondering why my is so high rent. We survive on bodega coffee, pizza crusts, and delusional optimism." 😺📚✨

"Offering purr-fessional cat sitting in Brooklyn! I’ll keep your feline overlord worshipped while you’re away: unlimited chin scratches, strategic toy-mouse ambushes, and treat-based bribes (negotiated per your rules). As a student-parent trained by my cat—a ruthless expert in demanding attention—I specialize in cats who judge, ignore, or sing opera at 3 a.m. Includes: daily photo proof your cat barely misses you, plant-watering, mail-grabbing, and zero judgement if your couch looks like a toy explosion. Because rent may be brutal, but peace of mind shouldn’t be. 🐾☕️🗽😸