It’s well known that cats are not generally people-pleasers. Felines tend to do things on their own terms—and this includes cuddling. You’ve probably had the experience of stroking a purring, happy kitty one minute, only to have them swipe at you the next! While it can be easy to blame this on the cat being aggressive for no reason, often we’re at fault for not respecting Mr Whiskers’ boundaries. Cat in a Flat is here to help! Let’s dive into the science behind when, where, and—most importantly—how to stroke your cat. 

How can I tell if it’s okay to stroke a cat?

How can you tell if it’s okay to stroke a cat? Our furry friends communicate a lot with us—whether it’s through body language such as ears and tails, or with different vocal sounds. However, it may not always be easy to interpret what your kitty is saying. After all, scientists have been trying to decode cat communication for years and still aren’t sure! But, there are a few obvious signs that will usually tell you if your cat wants you to stroke them or would prefer you keep your hands to yourself.

• An upright tail, purring and kneading, and relaxed posture with the ears pointed forward means: Go ahead! 
• Ears flattened, a thumping tail, turning away from you or engaging in short, quick bursts of grooming means: Please stop! 

What’s the right way to stroke a cat?

What’s the right way to stroke a cat? Whether you’re meeting a cat for the first time or interact with them frequently, always allow them to decide if they want to be stroked, and not the other way around. NEVER corner a cat and force stroke them. You don’t want to be on the receiving end of a frustrated feline’s claws! Here are a few steps to approach and stroke a cat: 

• Approach slowly while speaking in a calm, soothing voice. Never sneak up on a kitty, and always make sure they have an exit point if they want to get away. 
• Hold out your hand and let your furry friend sniff it. If the cat wants you to stroke them, they will rub their head against your hand. 
• Use a gentle touch and always stroke in the direction the fur lies. For example, stroke Mr Whiskers by starting at the head and moving your hand along their back to the tail. 
• Observe your fur friend’s body language to see when they’ve had enough. If you’re not sure, stop petting the cat. If the kitty walks away, it means they’re done. But if your fur friend reinitiates contact by butting your hand with their head or rubbing against you, it means they’d like a few more cuddles! 
• End on a good note by rewarding your kitty with treats after a nice cuddle session. This way Mr Whiskers walks away from the interaction feeling pawsitive. 
• And respect boundaries! This is the most important step. Every feline is different, and some might not like being petted at all. If this is the case, you can bond with Mr Whiskers in other ways, such as through treats and daily playtime. 

Where to pet (or not pet) your cat

Every kitty is unique, so where you can or can’t stroke will depend on the cat. Some kitties might lie on their backs to let you give their bellies a stroke, while others may prefer you only pet along their spine. Even so, there are a few general rules for where you can (or can’t) stroke a cat. 

CAN

• Around the regions where their facial glands are. This includes the base of their ears, cheeks, and under their chin.
• Top of their head and base of their tail.
• Along the spine. Most kitties enjoy having someone gently run their palm along their spine. Bonus points if your fur friend arches their back to meet your hand. This means they really like it! 

CAN’T

• Paws. Most felines don’t like it when you touch their paws. Hence, sometimes trimming Mr Whiskers’ claws can be tricky.
• Stomach. The stomach is a very sensitive area for cats. It’s uncommon for a cat to enjoy it when you stroke their tummy, and if they do, it’s rarely for long.
• Tail. Like their tummy, your feline’s tail is also sensitive. While it’s okay to run your hand briefly along it, don’t focus too much of your petting on your fur friend’s tail. 
• Face. Other than cheeks, chin, and ears, you should avoid your kitty’s facial area. 

When is it okay to stroke a cat?

 When is it okay to stroke a cat? You should always let your furry friend take the lead and show you when they do (or don’t) want to be stroked. A few situations where it’s best to avoid petting include when your cat is eating, sleeping, or playing. If Mr Whiskers is hiding, or in their quiet place, keep your hands to yourself. And, even though it’s hard to avoid, try not to stroke your cat when they’re scared or in pain. It’s understandable to want to comfort an injured or frightened feline but attempting to pet them may only cause them more stress. 

Paw Parent Tip: When you hire a cat sitter, always let them know if your kitty enjoys cuddling or would rather they stay away. If you have a multi-cat household, make sure your pet sitter understands their different purrsonality types. And if your friendly kitty doesn’t take to your cat sitter right away, that’s okay! Felines can become stressed when their owners are gone, so it could be your cat is standoffish because they miss you. 

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Why cats sometimes swipe when you stroke them

Many kitties love interacting with people. But even the friendlies feline might take a swipe mid-pet. This can happen for a variety of reasons. For example, maybe you’ve touched an area of your kitty’s body that is sensitive and they’re warning you to stay away. Or perhaps your fur friend has become overstimulated by too much petting and wants you to stop. No matter how cuddly a kitty may seem, always be observant of their body language and know when to pull back. This way you’ll develop a stronger bond with your furry friend and Mr Whiskers will love you for respecting their boundaries! 

Looking to learn more about your feline’s fascinating behavior? Read up on the power of catnip on cats and why cats love boxes.